I’ve lost my eyebrows. I can’t find them anywhere. I have looked under the sofa in case they rolled under there like the marbles I lost last week. Don’t judge, I fell asleep watching a video at nine o’clock and woke up confused. So I went to bed, marbleless, but it didn’t matter because I don’t need them when I sleep. When I got up the next morning, I had to find them. I had to find them because I had an appointment with my financial advisor and I needed all my marbles and my ducks in a row. I can’t remember if I ever had any ducks but I understand it is advisable to have them lined up. I realized the marbles were missing when the kettle never heated the water for my morning coffee because I had failed to turn on the stove. Even without my marbles, I know I cannot face a discussion about money without sufficient caffeine. So I searched. I found them though. They were hiding under the sofa and a couple had squeezed themselves into corners. I think they just wandered off while I was dozing. I hope they weren’t trying to escape. That would be sad. I thought they were happy with me. I believe I have gotten them all back, but, just in case, if you happen to see one somewhere it shouldn’t be, would you kindly return it. Thanks.
My eyebrows are different. I can do without, I suppose, if I have to. But my face looks wrong. It’s a bit shocking, really, to see myself in the mirror and only see part of a feature that once helped define the face I presented to the world. The one I plucked and cultivated, removing stray hairs, guiding the remainder into two symmetrical pleasing arcs, like pediments above my eyes, the doors to my soul. A 1/2 inch tuft of fuzz remains on either side. The hairs grow every which way including straight up and straight out, like two short caterpillars hugging my face. I can’t afford to lose any of those hairs, so I no longer pluck them. Instead I use an eyebrow pencil to draw an arc over each brow and fill in the missing hair hoping no one will notice. I still have enough marbles to be vain.
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