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Archive for March, 2010

How do they do this?

I have maintained for sometime that my cats are really just visiting here from another planet and/or dimension.  I believe that their initial reconnaissance of this planet suggested that cats were a dominate species. Now that they are here, however, this has proved to be a somewhat flawed assumption.

So having neglected to outfit themselves with opposable thumbs and not realizing that the human slave species can only comprehend a few words of feline; they have been unable to get back home.

I have ample evidence that this is true.  They have- on more than one occasion- changed my answering machine message to cat noises.  Trying to phone home, girls?

Tonight I came home to find that they had pulled a can of cat food out of the cupboard, from behind other items, and when they were unable to open it with their teeth, left said can in the hallway.

I want to know just how they figured out it was cat food?  Xray vision?

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To have gloves or not?

Need wooly hat or not?

Umbrella?  Sunglasses?

Scarf, yes.  Oh wait, my neck is burning and my face is turning red, no scarf.

Should I start washing sweaters to store before moth season or am I going to need to wear them again this week?  or even today?  I washed one yesterday that would be perfect to wear today but alas, it’s still wet.

I’ve been asking myself these questions everyday this week.  I am either overheated and sweaty or freezing.  No, it’s not hot flashes- it’s the weather.  It won’t make up it’s mind.  Yesterday I walked around Decatur in a tee shirt.  We’re supposed to have snow flurries on Monday.

I was kinda sorta hoping to have my new project finished before it got too warm to wear it but I’m guessing the weather is keeping a close eye on it too.  I fully expect that the day I bind off and weave in the ends will be the day after the last cool day this spring.

However, here is proof positive that I do knit every now and again.  I have had to make a few adjustments to the pattern but on the whole I am quite pleased with it.

The Yarn is Brooks Farm 4 Play.  Sweater vest of my own design and working out just fine so far.

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Overheard Backstage

…. at the Muppet Show…

Kermit:  Stage Right chorus, go.

Sheep in Egyptian wigs scurry off left.  A crowd of ostriches with fancy headpieces passes upstage.  3 confused giraffes with spears try to go several directions at once.

Kermit (directing traffic):  Ethiopians this way.

A crowd of black sheep moves out of view to the right.

A group of  gazelles with gold horns prances by.  A large moose with gold horns is at the end of the line.  A walrus dressed as a janitor sweeps up behind the line with a broom and dustpan.

Kermit:  Where is my eighth dancer?  Where did the moose come from??

Moose:  I’m the understudy.  The gazelle forgot he had a performance tonight.

Kermit shakes his head.

Enter Fozie Bear.

Fozie:  ahh… Kermit.

Kermit (distracted, waving arms at Giraffes):  NO, NOT YET.

What Fozie?

I NEED THOSE BANNERS, NOW!

Fozie:  I need you to come to Mr. Ginko Biloba’s room.

Kermit:  What now?

(Waving arms and pointing at giraffes) YOU, over there, spear carriers, this is your  warning for your entrance cue.

The giraffes go several different directions.

Kermit:  Left!  You enter left!

Giraffes exit scene.  Crashing, bleating  noises off.

Kermit (waving arms):  NO, no, not until the dancers are off stage.  Give them some room!

Several battered looking gazelles  in torn tutu’s pass upstage, holding each other up and shaking their heads.

Fozie:  He doesn’t like his costume.

Kermit:  Who doesn’t like his costume?

Fozie:  Mr Ginko Biloba.  He doesn’t want to sing in it.

Kermit:  Well what doesn’t he like about it?  Is it too tight?

Fozie:  No…. I don’t think so…

Kermit:  Well, then why can’t he sing in it?

Fozie:  He says it makes him look like an elephant.

Kermit (exasperated):  BUT HE IS AN ELEPHANT!

With apologies to Mr. Henson and Co.

I’ve been knitting and recuperating and I will be back soon.  Promise

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