I can’t sleep. The economy is giving me the willies.
Last week it was it was all about needing car. I have to have one to do my job and what am I going to do when the opera is in dress rehearsals and I can’t get there or get home afterward? I could see myself stuck in Cobb County at midnight with no way home. I could see my credit card bill after a week worth of Zipcar or a rental car. I could see my meager resources stretched to breaking to purchase any car that wouldn’t fall apart next month.
I was OK taking Marta, really, wasn’t I? There was a sense of freedom that came with not owning a car. But then, there’s the opera dry cleaning, and picking up shoes from the repair guy, and clothes that have to get from the theatre to the shop to be worked on and if I get a rental car I’ll have to use up the money in my car fund to pay for it. How will that help?
So, last weekend, I bought a zippy little used Hyundai with good gas mileage. Of course, now that my finances are a tad bit tighter than is comfortable- I worry about that and I still can’t sleep.
Now, Atlanta is out of gas. The few stations that are still pumping have long lines and policemen directing traffic. So even though I have a car-I still have to worry about what happens if I run out of gas and can’t get to the theatre or home again.
The bank I use in California went under. I keep just enough money in it the rest of the year to keep it open. Not much, whew. I think my bank here is OK. I think it is… I think it is….
Of course I’m sure my credit card companies are doing just fine and plotting ways to make an even bigger profit from the sweat of my brow.
Which is also bringing up a lot of doomsday scenarios in which there’s no food in the stores, no garbage pick up, no gas for the Marta buses, my rent goes up and well……no paycheck.
A year or so ago, I had a thought that we all just need to stop- Take an extra day off a week or a month and not drive anywhere. Turn off the TV and the computer. Unplug the phone and the IPod. Postpone shopping and just do something creates peace and joy- play with one’s children, paint, garden, walk, make bread, play ball, knit, anything simple that doesn’t require batteries or trip to the store. I might actually see that happen- Decatur is very quiet today. No one is on the road- they’re conserving what gas they have for the coming work week. There are children playing in the park, though, I can hear them from my window. The dog walkers and cyclists are out and the benches in front of the library are full of folks getting some fresh air.
Think I’ll take a walk.
Location: out of gas
Music: Bob Dylan, Walking down the Line