…. at the Muppet Show…
Kermit: Stage Right chorus, go.
Sheep in Egyptian wigs scurry off left. A crowd of ostriches with fancy headpieces passes upstage. 3 confused giraffes with spears try to go several directions at once.
Kermit (directing traffic): Ethiopians this way.
A crowd of black sheep moves out of view to the right.
A group of gazelles with gold horns prances by. A large moose with gold horns is at the end of the line. A walrus dressed as a janitor sweeps up behind the line with a broom and dustpan.
Kermit: Where is my eighth dancer? Where did the moose come from??
Moose: I’m the understudy. The gazelle forgot he had a performance tonight.
Kermit shakes his head.
Enter Fozie Bear.
Fozie: ahh… Kermit.
Kermit (distracted, waving arms at Giraffes): NO, NOT YET.
I NEED THOSE BANNERS, NOW!
Fozie: I need you to come to Mr. Ginko Biloba’s room.
Kermit: What now?
(Waving arms and pointing at giraffes) YOU, over there, spear carriers, this is your warning for your entrance cue.
The giraffes go several different directions.
Kermit: Left! You enter left!
Giraffes exit scene. Crashing, bleating noises off.
Kermit (waving arms): NO, no, not until the dancers are off stage. Give them some room!
Several battered looking gazelles in torn tutu’s pass upstage, holding each other up and shaking their heads.
Fozie: He doesn’t like his costume.
Kermit: Who doesn’t like his costume?
Fozie: Mr Ginko Biloba. He doesn’t want to sing in it.
Kermit: Well what doesn’t he like about it? Is it too tight?
Fozie: No…. I don’t think so…
Kermit: Well, then why can’t he sing in it?
Fozie: He says it makes him look like an elephant.
Kermit (exasperated): BUT HE IS AN ELEPHANT!
With apologies to Mr. Henson and Co.
I’ve been knitting and recuperating and I will be back soon. Promise