So yesterday I joined several million of my fellow humans and went to see the Chinese Terracotta warriors exhibit at the High Museum.
I am sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation as to why people bring really small children and babies to the museum and expect them to behave as if they were interested in this once in a lifetime cultural event and think that really this so much more fun than the playground but I am dumbfounded every time I encounter it.
The designer of the High must have expected it though because he clearly intended the ramps to the upper floors to be used for the purpose of giving bored children a place to blow off energy by running up and down them and knocking older patrons out of the way. Not to mention if you squeeze right up against the wall the giant SUV stroller has plenty of room to run over your feet get by.
The exhibit was interesting but the the thing that really surprised me was that the figures all had square blocky feet- almost like the sculptor didn’t bother to form them. I thought this was highly improbable and leaned over the rail to check it out. Turns out ancient Chinese soldiers wore something akin to Birkenstocks with square toes. Who knew? Also, if you were an officer your shoes could have curly toes. Now that’s a privilege worth striving for.
If you’re a really good boy and work really hard in military school you can grow up big and strong and wear curly toed shoes.
I’ve also decided I’m saving all my failed craft projects. One of the cases in the exhibit contained a large clump of clay and tiles which had fused together in the kiln while tiles for the Emperor’s mausoleum were being fired. This was obviously a great find for the archeologists. I’m betting some future scholar will be thrilled to find my UFO’s and put them on display. The tangle of novelty yarn perhaps? Or the shibori quilt pieces from 1988? The rejects from my stash of handmade Christmas cards? This could be my chance to seize fame undying.
Now, though, I need to go dig out and sign all my weird useless unfinishable stuff. It seems that the Emperor made everyone sign their work so if something went wrong the right person could be punished. I’m sure the future will want to know who to blame.